MATERIAL HANDLER* Loads, unloads, and moves materials, including Jesus slippers, grid squares, dynamited chicken, and left-handed monkey wrenches within or near plant, yard, or work site; A beautiful dystopian, performing any combination of the following bag drag duties while bullet-sponging toward heaven: Reads work order or follows big voice oral instructions to ascertain materials or containers to be moved, including, brainbuckets, hillbilly armor, bug juice, fart sacks, and moonbeams. Opens sin-filled bone containers, using steel cutters, crowbar, claw hammer, or other hand tools. With eyes closed or blindfolded, loads and unloads, indigestible materials, gedunk, dicks of death, and bag nasties onto, or from, pallets, trays, racks, and shelves, by hand. From the bottom of heart, loads chest candy, birth control eye-glasses, flash bangs, snivel gear, and miscellaneous zombie toys into waiting vehicles and installs strapping, bracing, or padding to prevent shifting or damage in transit, especially where eternal life requires unfailing vigilance,using god-awful hand tools and hapless thought processes. Surreptitiously conveys butterflied and/or padlocked contraband materials to or from illicit storage or work sites to designated black-op or off-shore corporate areas, using handtruck, electric dolly, wheelbarrow, and/or other deviant drone device. Secures money-lifting attachments and hastily improvised explosive devices to materials’ receptacle and conveys cleansed load to diabolical destination, using hand-operated crane or hoist, or speechlessly signals crane or hoisting operators to move load to pretend or clandestine destination of DOD’s choosing. With crumb-catcher closed, in standard issue gofasters, avoids 7,000 mile screw driver and Power Point commandos, while patiently awaiting cheese dick dead-check. Preferably prior to O Dark 30 Hours.
Brad Rose was born and raised in southern California, and lives in Boston. He is a Pushcart prize nominee in fiction, a 2013 recipient of Camroc Press Review’s, Editor’s Favorite Poetry Award and the 2014 winner of unFold Magazine’s "FIVE (5) Contest" for his found poem "Signs of Reincarnation at Le Parker Meridien Hotel, NY, NY." Brad’s poetry and fiction have appeared in The Los Angeles Times, The Commonline Journal The Baltimore Review; San Pedro River Review; Off the Coast; Third Wednesday; Boston Literary Magazine; Right Hand Pointing; and other publications. Links to his poetry and fiction can be found at: http://bradrosepoetry.blogspot.com/ including his chapbook of miniature fiction, “Coyotes Circle the Party Store,” https://sites.google.com/site/bradroserhpchapbook/ Audio recordings of a selection of Brad’s published poetry can be heard at: https://soundcloud.com/bradrose1
*This insert poem is partially composed of lines drawn from “Glossary of Military Terms and Slang” (retrieved 1/1/2015 from http://www.military.com/join-armed-forces/military-terms-and-jargon.html ) and “Military Jargon for Civilians” (retrieved 1/1/2015 from http://www.joinusinparadise.com/military_jargon.pdf ) interspersed among lines drawn from the Dictionary of Occupational Title’s entry for “Material Handler.” (retrieved 1/1/2015 from http://www.occupationalinfo.org/ ).